BCA Frontliner Recruitment Journey (Part 2)

This post is somewhat a continuation to my previous post about BCA Recruitment 

As a part of Frontliner Program, I will need to go through a 2 months training at Jakarta which is suppose to start on October 19th. 

However, another unexpected things happens! BCA never cease to surprise me, I guess. I submitted all of the documents above yesterday on September 23th, 10 AM. On around 4 PM the same day I was called by the Head of Operational to be prepared as I will join the class that will be held on September 28th and I have to leave for Jakarta the next day on September 24th!!! I was utterly shocked.

But then again, life is all about unexpected changes. So, I accept the early schedule! (They emailed me the draft of Employment Contract, because the moment the flight ticket was bought, there is no way back expect paying the penalty). Then, all I remember is that: it was a rush night. I haven't had all the stuff I need for the training so I was jumping all around town to buy them. I cancelled all my appointments with friends and families scheduled for the next few days and I finished packing around 10 PM. Honestly, I am quite upset that I missed a trip to the beach with my little sister and mom because I will not be here on October :'( 

Nevertheless, I was ready then.
Although I have this ominous feeling that the flight will be cancelled as the haze is ready bad today.
Check out my previous post about this. 

On the D-day, September 24th I was really worried as the haze has turns really really bad. I called the airlines company and they told me that the flight from 6 AM on wards has been canceled as the plane from Jakarta cannot land because of the haze.

Haze Situation on Ayani Road, Pontianak, Indonesia

Haze Situation on Ayani II Road, Pontianak, Indonesia

Those are photos taken on my way to the airport. 

Nevertheless, I still think that there is hope. So I went there on 2.45 and checked in. The airport was super crowded. I met a lot of people who missed their flight yesterday and was switch to today's flight. The ladies behind the counter told me that the flight was delayed from 15:20 to 17:30. 

I checked in my luggage and I was just sat on the bench for 5 minutes when I heard the announcement that my flight was canceled and I need to take care of my transfer on the counter. 

Why did you checked my luggage in, then?

Shown on the counter

I came to the counter and there is already a long queue of people behind the counter. There is no more available flight for today so everyone will be switched to tomorrow. I didn't get the earliest flight tomorrow which is 10.30 because the lady behind the counter told me that morning flight is risky as the haze is more prominent during the day. So I chose the earliest afternoon schedule available, which is 17.05

Wish Me Luck!

This means I still have one day to stay at home but I will miss the contract signing!! 

I will just pray that everything will be fine tomorrow and I can arrive at Jakarta before Monday. The HR Department has already contacted the HQ at Jakarta that my flight has been delayed due to force-majeure.

On 25 September, again the weather shows no improvement, at all. According to Indonesian BMKG sites the visibility is only 0.8 KM. My friends flight was delayed from 10 AM to 7.30 PM. At 5.45, there are already 2 GARUDA flight that was cancelled as the plane cannot land due to thick haze. At this point, I am really worried that I won't be able to be in Jakarta by Monday. But then, around 6 PM, I heard 2 planes were landing!! Those two are LION AIR and GARUDA INDONESIA! That is HOPE!

I was waiting there with my mom for another announcement. The airport is really packed!! I will never ever buy a plane ticket during this time even if you pay it for me, if not for Job-Related-Cannot-Cancel purpose. Around 6.30, the airport let out an announcement calling all passengers of GARUDA flight GA 507 to on board the plane!! I am so lucky as my flight, GA 507 which is suppose to fly at 17.05 today was not cancelled and I manage to fly around 7 PM! Waiting for my luggage and taxi takes ages! I reached my rental room around 10! SAFE!! That is a lot of things happen at once, thanks to BCA!

Anyway, my class is going to start at this Monday. 

I will keep you guys updated about the schedule of the program soon!

------------------------- JUST AN EXTRA NOTE -------------------------

I am tired and I am a mess. The room that I rent, which I ordered online due to tight schedule (read about ti here) was also a mess. It doesn't look anything like the picture they posted on Internet and I am greatly disappointed because they didn't even clean the room. I am DEAD tired but I cannot sleep in a dusty room! I am allergic to dust and dirt, I do not want to have reddish skin on my first day. That is not pretty. 

The bathroom is no better and the water is running really really slow and it is dirty. I have this itch all over my body. I tried to filter the water tap the next day with my wet tissue and guess what I found out?

I was shocked!!
Truly, Madly, Deeply.
This is the "dirt" that was filtered through my wet tissue.
No wonder I am itching all over!

That's it! I am moving ASAP!

Looking for a good rental room around Slipi Kemangisan!

ASAP!!

The Failure, The Acceptance, and Hopefully the Success (part 3) + BCA Frontliner Recruitment Journey

This is a continuation post of my previous struggle. You can read part 1 and part 2 here. 

Back for 1 months and until yesterday, I was on a recruitment process from one of the biggest bank in Indonesia, BCA. 

You know this bank right?

If you are asking why I choose to work there?
Here are the reason why?

• They are the best that I can get here in Pontianak
• They are biggest private bank (non-government) in Indonesia
• They are kind to their employee (allowing rooms to develop and grow, good pays, lots of activities with prizes: overseas travelling!)
• They pay is above average compared to other banks
• Career ladder available if you are potential employee

But as they are big, they put a huge standard barrier for who ever entering the company. There are couple tests and interviews that the potential employees have to get through in order to join the company.

YES!!!

I have honestly throw away all my greed and ambition. I submitted my CV and then I was called 5 days later (on Friday) for a psychology test somewhere far from home. I really really really had a difficulty finding the place as I have never been to that area before. There were 12 of us.
For you guys living in Pontianak Area and are called for the psychology test at Phenomenon, Batara Indah I Blok A, you are looking for a housing complex (RUKAN perumahan). Go through the side door. The front door won't open and there is a name sign. The alley to the Rukan was right beside the big green mosque. Go straight after Mitra Mart.

I was then called for an interview with the HRD on Thursday morning, a week after. The interview is suppose to end after 15 minutes somehow extended to 45 minutes! I have a good talk with the two ladies. They are kind and facilitating. I was applying for what-so-ever job opening available at the bank at the moment. The available job is Magang Bakti, a program which is a contract job that have a chance of being the permanent employee through tests after a year. I honestly have no problem with that but somehow people around me have big problems with it. HAHA. FYI, I graduated from a University in Malaysia. I personally do not really care. I believe that BCA is fair and if I am doing a great job, they would want to promote me for sure. It doesn't matter where you start anyway. The interview ended up really really well, I guess. Because I was called for an interview with the Head of Operational that evening, for Friday the next day. There were only 6 of us left at this point.

I thanked God that the process was so extremely fast!! Friday I met the Head of Operational Division. She is a very beautiful lady. The interview went out really smooth and it only lasted for 15 minutes. After that we were told to do a medical check up (no fasting needed) at Biomedis Lab (near Ligo).
For you guys living in Pontianak Area, I suggest you to do the check up on 5 PM instead of 8 AM as you will need to do a hell lot of running around the town. After your blood and urine taken, you will do a lung roentgen at the other Biomedis that only open at 5 PM! Then you will have to go to dr. Joseph at Jeruju (opposite the big Petrol Station) to take some physical examination. Then you will have to bring the results back to the first Biomedis Lab. What a long and messy trip, right? *sigh
I actually went to the Lab around 8 AM and surprisingly I got a phone call from the HRD that I have to do another additional interview with the HQ HRD on SATURDAY! I honestly thought I heard it wrong. Saturday? For real? However, after double checking and a bit confusion, I agreed to it. I finished my medical check up on Friday. Anyway, on this stage there were only 3 of us left.

On Saturday, I met with one of the Pontianak's HRD and the HQ's HRD. I met some girls from Magang Bakti program as well. I filled the permanent employee form!! That gives me some weird hope, honestly. After that, it was another casual interview that went quite well. I was offered a Marketing position which I was somewhat hesitated at that moment. But I answered her that: "If BCA think that I am capable of, and I was given the chances, I will take it" and that is all. I went home with a lot of question in my head. I was the only one out of 3 of us called for this interview. 

On Monday two days after the additional interview, I was called by Ms. Irene. I will be placed on Marketing Division and I need to do another online test. There are 4 test: Logical, Numerical Interpretation, Language Interpretation, Psychology. All are timed except for the Psychology test. I did the example test quite well but the main test quite poorly, I guess. IDK.

I was then waiting and hoping until I had a call from Pontianak's HRD to meet the Head of Operational once again on Thursday. I was scared and exited for unknown reasons. I came so early that I waited for 45 minutes. LOL, so eager. I was told that I didn't reach up to the HQ's standard for the Marketing Division, so I will still be posted as a Frontliner, but not on Magang Bakti's Program. I cannot be happier. It is the Frontliner Program! The Head of Operational asked for my commitment as the class will only begin on End of October and the quota for Pontianak is only 1 person and for this period, it will be me! She then explained to me about the benefits and the training and everything. Thank you God!!!!

For someone who has thrown away all hope for the better, this is an unexpected joy. The only thing that I need to do is to do another medical check up (Urine Test) and to prepare all the needed documents!

There needed documents are:

• Original SKCK (Surat Keterangan Catatan Kepolisian), you will need:
• Rp 10,000 for Registration
• Surat Kelurahan (Surat Pernyataan Diri)
• Photo 4x6 (2pcs), 2x3(1pc) - Red Background
• Copy of Family Registry
• SKCK Form
• You will have to have your finger prints taken first (The registration fee is Rp 10,000)
• Copy of 1st page Saving Book (for Salary transfer)
• Copy of Birth Certificate
• Copy of Family Registry
• Copy of ID Card + Mom ID Card
• Copy of NPWP
• Photo 4x6 (2 pcs) - Red Background
• BPJS Form (if you already have it)
• 3-4 Forms ( you will get these from them)

It took me 2 days to collect all documents and submit them to BCA HRD! 

It really takes time and patient to collect the documents.
The SKCK needs so many documents. Plan your time wisely.

To Conclude:

After all the struggles, worries, tears, quarter life crisis, and all the bad stuff happens before.
After 4 interviews, 2 Tests, and 1,5(?) Medical Check Up!
I finally and officially join the biggest Private Bank in Indonesia.
I hope that this is where my path for success is created. 

This is not the end.

There is nothing final in this world, whether it is failure or it is success.

As long as you are still breathing, the possibility is limitless.

Isn't the one who fall the hardest, will bounce the highest?

To anyone facing problems in which there seems to be no solutions,

Work harder and Pray. As happiness is not forever, so does sadness.

Leave your problems to God and ask for strength, guidance, and wisdom.

Tell Him to let His will Be as His will is always better than ours.

If you fail again afterwards, take it another lesson to learn and that His time is not yet come.

Nothing that ever happens to you, happens for nothing.

Everything happens for a reason. Reasons that you will cherish later on.

I wish you all the best of luck.

Simple Korean Eye Makeup for Beginner (ASIAN EYES)

Eye is the window of the soul...

... and, it is the most important feature to "enhance" when we are applying our make up as it is the focus of our face and the first face-feature that people notice from us (eye contact). I am sure you have seen Elsa without her make up.

Elsa without Make Up

or, let's imagine Mrs. Panda without her 'eye shadow'

Now, you know why it is soooooo important

I personally believe that the term "you have a beautiful eyes" doesn't stand for nothing. People are attracted to your eyes the first thing and it is one of the important feature to tell about our personality and to convey our emotion. We do a lot of things with our eyes alone, seeing, showing emotion, flirting, communicating, convincing people, detecting lies, and the list goes on and on.

If your eye make up is too heavy, you will look older; too little or no make up, you will look like you are just wake up and languid. Apply it correctly, you can create an image that you want people to perceive, whether it is professional look, mature look, mysterious look, etc.

Office Look

Everyday,
youthful look

Party Look

these images are taken from google for example purpose.        

To conclude: eye make up is so damn important. Not only because eyes is the first thing people notice from us, but the impact it has on our overall face and people's perception of our personality. (Although, yes, the overall make up and attitude does count!)

Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, which is also true when we are talking about our eyes. Every shapes and sizes are beautiful because God's made it, and God's never make any mistakes. Everything was planned and shaped perfectly. I was against 'plastic surgery in the name of beauty' as that means you are not being grateful of what God's has given to you. 

Everyone is beautiful, and make up was created to enhance that beauty. Knowing all your strong point and able to enhance that; knowing all your flaws and cover that, with paints and powder, that is make up is all about. 

I do not have a hell lots of products to switch here and there or have lots of make up techniques. I am learning and I am sharing it. I own couple of stuff with good quality and try to maximize those stuff for my face. My steps are relatively easy to follow even for beginner as I am a beginner as well. It is flawed here and there but what/who's a better teacher than trials and errors? 

SO, LET'S START!

1. Apply your eye cream

There is no secret that the essence of Korean Make Up is to create a youthful and natural look while maintaining the healthy glow of the skin. In a country where Skin Care is equally important as Make Up, as the first step of your entire eye make up procedures, of course you have to apply the eye cream! 

It is a general knowledge that the skin around our eyes is the thinnest of our body, it is 10 times thinner than the skin in our face! so, always use your ring finger to apply any skin care or make up around your eyes. Be extra careful to not put too much pressure as it may caused collagen breakdown or hurts the tissues around the skin which may lead to dark circle and wrinkles in the long run.

L'Ocicitane Immortelle Eye Care & Mask Duo

I am using my L'Occitane Bright Eye Immortale. The texture is watery and not too creamy or heavy to my eyes and my eyes feel refreshing and moist afterwards. Been using this for a year now. 

Applying eye cream helps us maintain the moisture in our eyes and to kinda protect them from layers and layers of make up that will come later. Be extra careful in choosing your eye cream. You will not want the eye cream that is too heavy for your eyes as it will caused the eyes around your skin to have the little bumps, which is a big NO-NO. Do not be hesitate to ask for samples before investing your money in the products and make sure to use the eye cream that suits your needs (anti-wrinkle, whitening, etc). I also suggest every one above the age of 21 to start applying eye cream, it will help to slow down the wrinkling!

2. Apply your eye primer

A lot of people might not be aware of the purpose of eyeshadow primer, hence they are not using it. I have just recently been using eyeshadow primer when I get them for free from Urban Decay's with my purchase of NAKED2 palette. I found that my eyeshadow actually last longer and the colors are more vibrant than without the primer. Plus, might be another psychological thingy, but I think the primer helps to protect my eyelids' skin and to act as the barrier for the eyeshadow (so that the coloring substances are not touching my bare skin directly).

I am using my Urban Decay's Eye Primer in sachets, a complimentary gift from my eyeshadow palette purchase. 

Urban Decay's Anti-Aging Eyeshadow Primer.
Always apply primer to protect your eye's
thin skin and for your eyeshadow to
last longer.

Always use your ring finger to apply anything on you eyes.
Ring finger has less power and put less pressure to
eye's fragile and thin skin.

3. Apply your Eye Shadow

After preparing your eyes with the primer, we come for the fun part, eyeshadow. Until recently, I never know how to apply eyeshadow. I will just owned 1 color, which is dark brown and apply it on the crease near my eyelashes and that's it. 

Then, after numerous trials and errors, I found the way that is easy enough to follow!

I am using my one and only eyeshadow which comes in a pallete, Urban Decay's NAKED2. I have no other eyeshadow other than this. The colors below are the ones that I am constantly using as they suit my eyes best. I love the earthy colors which creates a natural looks. Chopper is my favorite. I usually match what I am wearing with the matching shadow to accentuate my look. 

from the left (halfbaked, bootycall, chopper, tease, snakebite, suspect)

1. Apply 'Bootycall' to the 1/3 inner corner of your eyes
2. Apply 'Chopper' to the area number 2 (major half of your upper eyelid and lower eyelid)
3. Combine 'Suspect' and 'Snakebite' to apply on your crease area (area number 3) and blend inward
4. Take 'Halfbaked' with your finger and dab lightly on the mid of your upper lid to create dimension)

It actually looks better in real life, the camera couldn't catch the colors well enough. TT,TT

4. Eyebrow

Eyebrow has been gaining huge huge popularity lately, especially where I live, Indonesia. A lot of people actually neglect the importance of eyebrow for their whole appearance and I used to neglect it too. I am blessed with thick and quite define eyebrow so it doesn't really concern be before, no matter how many people were raving about brow-thingy.

Little that I knew, eyebrow does give a lot of impact to our overall face as strong, straight eyebrow will give you a youthful, softer look which the Korean like. Where as the thinner, curved eyebrow will give you the mature look the Westerner like. Well groomed eye brow will give you a tidy, professional look as well. So, never let your eyebrow hairs run astray.

I honestly haven't found the perfect way to shape my eyebrow. I was thinking of doing an eyebrow tattoo which is very popular among young ladies here in Indonesia, but my mother forbid me to do that.

Right: I am using ETUDE Color My Brow is shade number #1

Since I have somewhat define brow, I am just using the eyebrow mascara to fill the missing parts of my eyebrow and to give it colors (since I dyed my hair dark brown). I am still learning but I will update this blog once I am pretty sure that I have found my 'perfect brow'.

check out my updates here

5. Tear Liner

One of Korean's latest make up technique invention, the tear duck liner is not to be missed. The purpose of giving the area near your tear duck a shimmering glow is to make your eyes bigger and brighter. If you have never try this before, you should! It worth the try. I actually get a lot of curious questions about my tear duck liner products and how it makes my eye bigger and brighter.

Apply on the inner corner of your lower lid (near tear duck)
This will give you a big, bright, 'awake' eyes.

You can use shimmering eye shadow like the NAKED2 'Bootycall' or any other type of eye products that can give you the shimmery look. However, I am using the Etude Play 101 in shade number 4. It comes in a pencil packaging with sharpener at the bottom. The pointy pen-like-shape is making it easier to apply the line more precisely. The texture is creamy and glittery but long lasting and smudge proof. I usually wear it whole day and it actually stays.

Etude Play 101 Pencil in number 4.
It looks like pencil with sharpener at the end on the pencil.
The texture is creamy and shimmery and it last long.

6. Eyeliner

Eyeliner is one of the important basic make up. Undoubtedly, wearing an eyeliner can give you a more define eyes as it outline your eyes, creating an illusion that they are bigger or longer depending on your needs. The use of eyeliner has been tracked back since the ancient Egypt and by today, there has been a lot of improvements in the drawing style and types of eyeliner.

I have an oily skin around my T-zone area so I preferred the liquid eyeliner in forms of pen or brush compared to gel or pen. I used gel eyeliner before but it smeared pretty fast and at the end of the day, I usually turn to a panda. I always use a waterproof eyeliner as well.

K-Palette 24H Tattoo Liner in Dark Brown

Since I dyed my hair dark brown, I am using dark brown eyeliner. I used the K-Palette 24 H tattoo liner. The color is soft and natural and the brush is precised. It is a brush liner. I used to use black liner before, but that give a too-fierce impression on my face as I already has a too-big-eyes for my face.  

Left: Apply on the upper lid of your eyes until the end. You can go up for cat eye look if you wish.
Right: Softly, draw a thin line on half of your lower lid. This will help creating an effect of larger eyes.

There are couples of way you can wear you eyeliner. You can do cat eye to make your eyes longer and more upturn. I used to love cat eye look before but now I shifted to a softer more "puppy eye" look that is pretty popular in Korea right now. 

Instead of drawing the end of the eyeliner UP, you just continue to draw it until the end of your natural eye shape. In my eyes, it will look like the picture on the left. After that, continue to draw a soft, thin line from the end of the previous line under the lower lid. I like to draw mine until the middle part, where it will connect to the tear duck line that I drew previously. 

check out my K-Palette 24H Eyeliner Tattoo in Jet Black here.

7. I AM DONE!!

TA- DA!

Here is the finish look. 

The Finish Look

I personally are not fond of mascara because it was hard to remove, clumps easily, and feels heavy on my eyes. But you can top this look with mascara if you would like to. 

That's all of my eye make up for daily use. If I somehow discover a new way to do my eye make up, I will definitely update this post. But for now, this is it!

Forest Fires in Pontianak, West Borneo, Indonesia 2015

Road condition at noon.
(I hope the camera captured the haze clearly)

Among the citizen of Pontianak (West Borneo), we have the inside joke saying that we are living in an area with 3 seasons: the dry season, wet season, and smog/haze season. 

(We only have dry and wet season, obviously)

Hot spot spread mapping in Indonesia.
This is the natural causes of the forest fires that causes haze all over Indonesia, Malaysia, and Singapore.
The human causes is the forest clearing for industry purposes (palm oil and paper) by unauthorized company (illegal)
The island on the far left is the Sumatra Island and the island on its left is Borneo Island.
Both are the main hot spots areas.
The worse area of the haze is Riau, Pekan Baru, Sumartra.

Haze is not uncommon as is anticipated each an every year during the peak of dry season. By this time of the year, the air will be so filthy that it looks pretty much like the movie Silent Hill. 

Silent Hill

Pontianak Grand Mosque

HOW IDENTICAL!!!! 

Was Silent Hill Movie shot here?

Schools are closed as the air is very unhealthy. Face masks are being distributed every where. People are advised to stay at home. The visibility on the road is pretty bad that people are turning on the vehicles light even in mid noon. The visibility on the sky in worse as dozens of flights are being cancelled and airlines company are making loses everyday. The fisherman cannot sail as well. 

I am not joking about how bad it is. It was in the news every single day now (even on international news, like bbc) and this years haze is might be the worse that we have ever experienced so far. 

Indonesia Forest Fire

Due to the fire, the forest coverage areas in Indonesia is getting smaller and smaller. 

The level of deforestation in Indonesia is the second after Brazil.

The Borneo Island of Indonesia. We can see that the forest (green areas) are is getting smaller and smaller each year. This is caused by illegal logging and forest fires.

I actually got an eye infection from the haze and there are a lot of people are getting lungs infections (ISPA: Infeksi Saluran Pernapasan Akut/Acute Respiratory Infection). Here is the report from the local newspaper about the hazardous air. Pontianak, West Borneo (KalBar) is where I lived. I provide some translation.

This table is on the local newspaper 2 days ago (15/9)

Pink Highlighted is where I live

Here is the report of the air quality in Pontianak by 16 September 2015 from BMKG (The National Meteorology and Geophysics Department)
Green (Good), Yellow (Medium), Brown (Unhealthy), Red (Very Unhealthy), Purple (Dangerous)
Now we have exceed the purple areas by a super-huge-skyrocketing margin

Pontianak Haze (taken from the local newspaper)

This is no joke. The moment you step outside your home, it is difficult to breath. The air is so acrid and there are a lot of white stuff (like burned stuff) flying in the air. There are less people on the street. It feels like a semi-apocalypse from a dystopian movie where the zombie will suddenly jump out of no where. 

Local government is trying hard to solve this issues by making the artificial rain (which is expensive). Senior executives from large companies suspected of illegal forest clearing are being caught. Our military personals (ABRI) has been assigned to help extinguished the fire at the forest. However, not much changes happens.

Our Military Personals are being assigned to help extinguished the forest fire. 

I just hope that it rains soon and the haze ends soon. I am tired of having a difficulty only to breath. I thought 'air' is suppose to be free. But may be in the near future, we or our children each have to carry an oxygen tank as our backpack because the oxygen level on earth is not enough anymore. 

I understand that we cannot do anything much about the natural causes of the forest fires. We are living in tropical areas (passed by the equator line) and it is a dry season. Even slight scrapping of dry twigs due to wind blowing can set a whole forest on fire. However, I am very sad, and disappointed and ashamed by the human caused of the fire. #prayforindonesia

Update: 
It finally rained on 18/9 and 19/9 and since then, the air started to clear a little bit. Now the sun rays can penetrate the layers of haze. I think the temperature has gone higher now. 
The haze returns on 22 September. The white dust flies in the air and I think it is going to be worse in couple days. 

Glamglow Supermud Review

GLAMGLOW! A mask from Hollywood, California. It comes in couple of variant. Youthful Mud (Anti-aging), Power Mud (Deep Clean), Thirsty Mud (Hydrating), Flash Mud (Brightening), and Super Mud (Clearing for trouble skin). 

Apparently its an Award Wining products.

Glamglow was originally exclusively designed for professional backstage use in Hollywood, until 2011 when it becomes available for public consumers worldwide. In no time it has become one of the hottest products on earth. 

I will be reviewing the Supermud which I personally owned. I bought it on Luxola last year on sale. It is actually quite expensive. On normal price, it costs Rp 780.000 or around USD 55 for a tiny 34 gram product. I save it on;y for special occasions (all face) or when my blackheads are too much for my eyes to bear (nose area only). 

Closer look to what Glamglow Supermud is:

I found myself agreeing to the results as I personally experienced them.

Glamglow Supermud's Ingredients

The product comes in a small white tube and it is literally mud. It is somewhat creamy with black/dark gray flake and it smells somewhat mint-like scent. 

        

The texture is mud-like.
It turns from dark gray into soft gray after usage.

When I first applied it on my face, I felt a little bit of stings and my face felt like it was pulled and my pores was squeezed shut. The scent is minty but I haven't decided whether I like it or not. 

I know for sure that the product is working as after around 3 minutes of using the mask, It change colors from the thick gray to lighter shades of gray. Leave if for another minutes, it turns lighter with black dots all over. Those dots are supposed to be the impurities (oil, dirt, make up residue, etc) left on your face. As you can see in the picture below, my nose areas are filled with most dots, as I have lots of blackheads there. 

Psychologically, I think it was good that a product actually shows some sign that they are working, even if they are not (like tooth paste). It is just the psychological thing, tho. 

It dries into softer gray and forms dots of impurities after couple of minutes.
I usually leave it longer then wash it off with warm water.

I would recommend to wash your face with warm water then cold water afterwards. The mud is not easy to rub off and it left black residue all over the sink. I usually mask before I took my bath, so the waste is all washed off in the bathroom.

After washing my face with warm water, I applied toner and moisturizer and I noticed immediate changes on my skin. I pores was visibly smaller and almost all of my blackheads were gone. My skin felt so smooth and it glowed healthily!
I took the picture for before after but not much changes can be seen from the photo alone. I zoomed and zoomed but the difference of blackheads existence cannot be seen clearly. So, decided not to post them. LOL.


Price: Expensive! Rp 780.000 or around USD 55 
Pros:

• It delivers its promise
• Clear, Soft, Smooth, Blackhead-less skin

Cons:

• Price is high

Repurchase: YES! I am saving my money for it.
Recommend: YES! Even if the price is sky high, it worth the investment!

The Failure, The Acceptance, and Hopefully the Success (part 2)

If you haven't get the full story, read part one of my story here.

Back in my hometown, I was left at a terrible state. I was ruined, psychically and mentally. 

By the time this post started to be written, it was already 9 months passed since the incident. I need that long to regain my composure and to have a more positive perception towards life.

I honestly put so much pressure on myself to excel. I keep on thinking that with my qualifications, I can achieve more! This is lacking! What other people will think of me?? I am such a disappointment. 

For a time being, I was stressed. Feeling hopeless, useless, worthless and traumatized to the point that I do not even feel like working anymore. 

I want to just restart everything, by going to study for master degree or language degree. But, after long period of thinking, and re-thinking, I decided that "re-study" is not worth the investment. I have seen a lot of my friends who go to re-study/pursue higher education to avoid working who actually find themselves back where they started: going nowhere in life and worse, some become too lazy to even start working. 

So, I decided that is just wasting money. I need to start living. 

but how???

Of Course!

Opportunities, opportunities.. Opportunities come for me to learn about stock market. The lesson that I couldn't get when I was in University and the hot topics of people around the world about investment. I want to invest. I do not want to be a broker. Please do not get me wrong. 

I kinda felt more relax after couple weeks at the broker's office (my aunt's office), feeling optimistic, I try to find a job... again... at Jakarta... 

Sadly, YES! 

Feeling so philosophical, naive, and positive, I retried my luck in finding a job at Jakarta. I actually find a pretty decent job that I refused. But for months, I have always tried to find excuses and I judged the potential job too harsh, even before I start to do it. I try to take a-too-save-road after failing soooooo hard. Still traumatized, may be??

I was staying with my aunt, grandma, and uncle and it was uncomfortable. I felt so much pressure while staying at their home, I don't feel at home at all. I felt very uncomfortable as all my actions are questioned and counted. There are unnecessary dramas every single day. To the point that living at that home feels more difficult than finding a decent job. 

Yeah, IKR

I think I lose hell lot of good jobs, looking to a better ones. 
In the end, I fail, AGAIN.

This time, I began to think:

• Is this the road that I am suppose to take? 
• If it is, why am I failing, over and over again?

I looked at my friends. They are perfectly fine. Having a great job, leading live full of hope. Why am I here? I am not a stupid person. So why can't I be like them? Having the good job, leading a good live. Is this God's way of saying that this is not for me? That I have to face this trial to excel? I don't know.

I went back to phase one, the failure. Now with the slump deeper than the previous one.

It was hard back then. I was unemployed for months! I used to support myself ever since I graduated from University. Now, I have to be supported by my parents. It was such a major step back!! I kept comparing myself with my friends, my cousins, and judged myself harshly.

Until one day, after I tried talking to my mother about it, I realized that I have put too much pressure for myself where no one expect me too. It was an eye-opening moment, to realize that I am actually creating problems for myself. Instead of living my life within my capabilities, I took someone else' measurement of success to force myself to fit in. That is the main reason that I am unhappy. And stressed.

I finally have the courage to look back at myself and told myself that I failed again and this time, I dare to say to myself to quit trying to find job at Jakarta because those life, those success is not for me. 

'The end' is just a beginning to another story.

To be able to re-start my career journey, it felt necessary to admit to myself that I failed. So that I won't find any excuses to not doing anything and look only at the past. Failing is one thing, but keep trying is another. I keep saying to myself that the defeat is not final. In fact, there is nothing final in this world. 

As written in the Paulo Coelho's THE ALCHEMIST: 
the secret of life, is to fall seven times and to get up eight times. 

People never look at the process, they look at the result because the history is made by the winner. Only the winner's part of the story will be heard. 

Anyway, I gave up all of my kinda "American Dream" in the big city and I came back to my hometown, a small city called Pontianak in West Borneo where I hope, my success story will actually begins, if God allows me.

This is the end of my second post.
Check out my third post here.